My bat mitzvah was a week from yesterday (April 2nd) and on this very special day, I had a speech that I prepared.

I had been working on the speech for months before the date it was presented, so a lot of thought went into this speech.

I hope you enjoy it!

Here it is…

Shabbat Shalom!

Today is my Bat Mitzvah. Today is the day I am supposed to become a participating member of the Jewish community. Today, I am supposed to count. In a minyan, in a Torah service, in my family decisions (I can only hope). And I am so grateful and lucky to be part of KBI and an egalitarian, Conservative Jewish community. I count.

It has almost always been this way for the Jewish people of Ottawa who go to KBI or who went to KBI in the past. You might have heard that the first ever woman in Canada to have a bat mitzvah was a girl named Miriam Lieff. Miriam studied at Agudath Israel Synagogue in Ottawa, which we know today as KBI… this synagogue.

But, not all women are as lucky as Miriam to be part of a community that cares about women and their rights. They have often been supporting characters in their own stories. Whether the Torah writers were men, the religious law makers were men or the movie producers were men.

This shabbat is Shabbat Hachodesh, which is the first Shabbat in the hebrew month of Nissan which is two weeks before Pesach. When you think of Passover, who is the first character that comes to mind? …Moses. But if you think deeper into the story, Moses would never have survived if it wasn’t for his mother, Jochebed who kept him hidden and sent him off in the basket on the river. Then, as he traveled down the river, his sister, Miriam, watched over him, and made sure he was safe. Then, when he reached the palace, and who did he meet there? The Pharaoh’s daughter, Batya, who saved him and raised him as her own. Do you see my point? Jochebed, Miriam, and Batya are the reasons Moses survived.

This does not even include the Egyptian midwives who refused to follow Pharaoh’s original decree to kill all of the male Israelite babies. They decided to follow their hearts instead of Pharaoh’s command. 

A Midrash teaches that the Israelite men wanted to stop having children after Pharaoh’s decree. Their wives also pushed back saying, “You are worse than Pharaoh!  Pharaoh only wants to get rid of the boys, but you want to bring an end to all children!”  If it weren’t for these women, Moses would never have had the chance to be born at all. None of these women, Jochebed, the midwives, Miriam and Batya never got to be the heroes of the story, Moses did. 

When Rabbi Kenter asked me about my interests while deciding on a theme for my speech, a lot of my influences were from strong pop culture women. People like Lady Gaga, Pink, and the Gilmore Girls characters. I learned about this interesting test in Hollywood called the Bechdel Test. The Bechdel Test is a guideline that measures whether or not a movie or tv show has at least 2 main female characters who speak to each other about something other than a man. The women in question can not be a sister, wife or daughter to the main character. They must be independent characters in order to qualify in the Test. You would be surprised by how few movies and TV shows passed this test. How few females are the center of their own stories in hollywood.

An example of a tv show that passes this test with flying colors is my favorite show, The Gilmore Girls. This show stars many female lead characters who have a higher ranking in the show than the males. There are some male characters thrown in there but they act as background people. All these women are the centers of their stories. No wonder the show is so close to my heart. 

I see myself as a strong, independent woman in training:) a (Rory) for those of you familiar with my show. I come from a long line of strong, independent women, a bunch of (Lorelei’s) for my last reference to the show!

In our discussions, Rabbi Kenter shared a quote with me that he learned from his father; “coincidences are just G-d’s way of staying anonymous”. This quote plays a part in the passover story. Firstly, Moses’s basket coincidentally arrived at the palace. Then, later in the desert, his sheep coincidently leads him to hear G-d at the burning bush. These coincidences were G-d in disguise. 

So, what do you make of this next coincidence? 

My Bubby, Eileen, was born in a time where it was not customary for women to have bat mitzvahs nor to participate fully in the Jewish community. She… couldn’t write her own story. But, when my Bubby was about to turn 60 she decided to start studying for her bat mitzvah. She wanted to write her own story, not to have it written for her. She wanted to count in her shul, and in her jewish community. 

And here is the coincidence… Without even talking, my Bubby and I picked the exact same bat mitzvah date, April 2nd with the exact same portion, Tazria! How cool is it that.. me… with my Bat Mitzvah speech about independent women, in the center of their stories, is tied by date and Torah portion to such an amazing bubby! 

For my Bat Mitzvah project, I decided to help others in what has turned out to be a very timely cause. I have been working with an Immagration aid service in Ottawa helping to resettle refugees through the “From House To Home” project. This project was started by a local, Jewish woman although the refugees she helps are not only Jewish. Until recently, the refugees have been largely from Afghanistan, Ethiopia and Syria though the center has started to plan on settling Jewish Ukrainian refugees shortly. I organized a collection of household items through my school and brought some of my classmates to volunteer at the warehouse a few weekends ago. The organizer of this center, Suzi, is another example of a Jewish woman changing the world around her for the better. 

On Passover, when we tell the story of the Exodus from egypt, we remember how we escaped slavery, persecution, and hardship. While today we are safe in Canada, around the world people continue to struggle. We are commanded to not just tell the story of leaving Egypt but do all that we can to support those people who are still in their own places of hardship and persecution. That’s why so many of us are working to support the people of Ukraine, and why we continue to tell our story of the Exodus every year.

Thank you too……..

I am grateful to now be taking my place, not only as a Jewish adult, but as a Jewish woman and will never take for granted the opportunities that I have. 

Thank you and Shabbat Shalom!

If you understand thinsg from this speech, please write a comment!

Do you know the Gilmore Girls?

Have you ever had a coincedence in your life?

Thank you for reading this post!